Pornceptual has interviewed Cain (@c_a_i_n) who is about to star in the new Men.com reality show ‘Slag Wars‘, hosted by the Cockdestroyers Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson. “The show is a platform for our community to have meaningful conversations about sex positivity, diversity and queerness which hasn’t been more important.” (Amelia Sonsino)
Pornceptual: Tell us a bit about the show and your experience. What was your favourite moment?
Cain: Slag Wars is a new safe for work reality show, fronted by the Cockdestroyers (Rebecca More and Sophie Anderson) and Matthew Camp (MEN.com) – with a whole range of surprise judges along the way! The highlight for me personally was being in an environment and having a platform for people to celebrate queerness and spark the conversation around sex positivity – we knew from the get-go that this was going to be something special.
The reality here is whether you’re a sex worker or not, we all have sex, we all watch sex, we all think about sex – and we all express our sexuality in different ways – I’d say that deserves a spotlight on it, wouldn’t you?
P: When was the idea pitched to you? What can viewers learn from the show?
C: I’ve been on the producer’s radar for a while, either through my work in nightlife or how open I am about sex work online and been luckily enough to work with Rebecca and Sophie before, both through club events and shoots for Daddy Couture campaigns – who are also involved in the production of the show. I know everything the girls do comes from a place of wanting to uplift and empower people, regardless of being a ‘sex worker’ or not. I knew from the get go this wouldn’t be a show to tear down or ridicule people, like some shows.
I think viewers are going to learn that there is so much more to sex work than just sex – including ALL the positives and negatives that come with it! It takes a lot of guts, creativity, passion and resilience to be a sex worker, or even just sometimes, unfortunately, to express their sexuality.
P: What inspired you to do the show?
C: I’ve been involved in sex work since turning 18 and faced all sorts of problems through doing it so early with no support and a mass amount of stigma around it – some of which I talk about on the show. I knew going into the show as a young adult and knowing myself more I’d be able to potentially help other people, even if it’s just one viewer identifying with one contestant.
Getting back into sex work through self-produced scenes and material has given me the chance to reclaim my narrative and experiences with sex. Through doing sex work I have no only been kept financially stable, but it has also created a cathartic experience, to go from a traumatic period of my life where I had to do sex work in order to survive, it’s incredible to now be able to be in a position to not only still use sex work to survive – but also to thrive.
P: Sex workers have been hit hard by the pandemic. Many have moved to online-only work due to contact restrictions. How has the online market changed? Are people at home also more willing to engage in virtual activities?
C: People are always going to evolve and adapt to rules and restrictions, whether it’s how they get their money or how they get their kicks off! The rise in people who use OnlyFans has definitely worked towards normalising the conversation around online sex work.
P: How can someone stay active despite all the limitations of the current times?
C: The reality is, a lot of us work in creative industries, or need creative outlets to stay happy – and a lot of those creative platforms and creative playgrounds have been closed this year. It’s been such a difficult year to try and stay creatively active, but something I’ve found useful is setting myself one or two new things each month to complete – whether it’s embroidery, pottery, painting – if you keep your brain creatively stimulated it really can pull you out of a dark time – even if just for a few hours.
P: How do you navigate sex positivity as someone who embraces gender with more fluidity?
C: There is still a great deal of prejudice against trans, queer and gender non-conforming people, and while certain gains have been made, it’s still not easy. I’m lucky enough to have a strong support system of friends, fellow sex workers and a queer family – where we all look out for each other, whether it’s online or in person.
P: Do you have any advice for people who are starting their journey as sex workers?
C: Make sure everything you say, do and put out there is 100% authentically you. If you’re still discovering your body and your views, that’s okay. But make sure every decision you make is your own and for YOU – then no one can try to use it against you.
P: How does social media censorship affect your work?
C: I’d understand it and begin to accept it if it was one rule for everyone, but ultimately it feels like it’s one rule for influencers, verified accounts, celebrities – and then another rule for sex workers. You have to have this approach to your posts like ‘shit, is this too much? Is this going to get deleted? Is that then going to get my WHOLE account deleted?’ – and then if that happens you lose a platform which you could potentially rely on to promote your work, push your income, pay your rent!
It pulls it back to feeling like your work isn’t work, and makes you question ‘once we’re pushed off Tumblr, then off Instagram, then off Twitter – where can we showcase our work?’