Sex School is providing both educational video’s and arousing ethical porn – all created by their diverse team of sex workers, sex educators and porn performers. Pornceptual talks about the motivation and process behind the platform, consent, and sex education.
‘’Sex School is committed to normalizing our right to access honest, unbiased sex education resources. We believe in the importance of creating resources that are accurate and trustworthy. It’s also crucial for us to deliver this knowledge in ways that are approachable, relatable and that celebrate diversity as a fundamental value for a healthy, pleasurable, true to oneself sex life’’
Pornceptual: How did your platform start? What was your motivation and personal experience to start this platform? How do you choose the people that you work with?
Anarella: The platform started by filling a need for another kind of Sex Education. What is explained in schools basically is: not to contract STI, not to get pregnant and isn’t focused on values like desires, pleasure and understanding of sex. While growing up, we face different situations where we don’t really know what we are doing in terms of needs and boundaries, besides the society pushing us to do things that we might be not sure about.
My personal motivation comes after being abused as a child and growing up not being aware of what I really wanted, once I realized it, I have been working on my personal trauma through art. Moving to Berlin has helped me, to be true to myself and my sexual desires and practices. Realizing how I was sexually educated, I reached out to joining sex-positive communities and tried to be surrounded by people with the same ethics and values and that would teach me what I was missing. I thought, If I am missing those things, many other people are as well. After my personal experience and organizing a Sex Festival in my city in Spain, I got the opportunity to meet many porn performers and sex educators that fascinate me. I felt very connected to them and felt even more free to talk about several topics. After the festival, I wanted to create a platform where sex workers, porn performers and sex educators could come together to talk about sex from a realistic point of view. After all, who knows more about sex than the professionals in the field? Sex workers and porn performers are stigmatized by society and in Sex School we want to give them the voice and value they deserve.
Pornceptual: Your team is extremely diverse, including porn performers and sex workers. How is the process of creating ethical porn while working with such a variety of people? How can performers overcome the stigmatization of sex workers?
Anarella: The process is very natural, as we are all very aware of what is missing in sex education. We all realize what is important to create an ethical production where everyone is heard and has a voice to say what works for them and what they are in too. We have clear boundaries, as by working in the industry for such a long time you know how to communicate and be safe in a variety of situations. We never force anyone to do what they don’t want to. We will overcome the stigmatization by giving a voice and normalizing our jobs.
Pornceptual: What is ethical porn, and why is it so relevant? How do you connect education to creating arousing ethical porn films and what is the importance of his connection?
Anarella: Ethical porn is not perse a type of Porn, it is a practice where everyone involved in the production gets paid fairly (inside of the possibilities of the production). Everyone has an opinion from crew to cast, and at the same time, we create a safer space to work. We want to create an education that is real and that the viewer can relate to the performers and the situation. We wish not to only give tips, tricks and advice, but experience-based advice, where you can develop your own conclusions and think about what could work for you. And if it’s arousing that is a plus because Sex Ed should be fun and not scary or vague.
Pornceptual: How is the perception of sex taboos changing? As we see more representation in contemporary culture, does this development allow people to talk more openly about sex? Or is there still a long way to go?
Amber: Honestly, with social media platforms people are given an opportunity to spread more information about sex, but this is a double-edged sword as this also leaves room for miseducation, which tends to be uplifted by algorithms. I think what has changed nowadays is access to the information one is seeking, is available, it’s just up to the discretion of the seeker to weed out the true educators from the “edutainors”. I would say we still have a long way to go overall, but we have won some small victories.
Pornceptual: What are your thoughts about sex education in high schools? How could it develop?
Amber: As a US Citizen, I have first-hand experience with the abysmal education or even miseducation that is offered. What needs to happen is some development of standards that are being taught and upheld by educators and members of that specific community. Meaning sexuality and trans education should not only come from people who are professionals but from people who have gone through those experiences. There’s no one-sized fit all education plan, the only key component is the need for a group of professionals who work together to educate.
Pornceptual: How do you come up with the narratives of the films you make? Describe your creative process.
Anarella: We work as a team by researching what are problematic issues at the moment within youth and adults. After this, I as the founder and Poppy Sanchez get together to think about what topics should be discussed and the angle that will be taken. Once this is decided, we pass the topics to Amber Mallery one of our certificate sex educators to get all the highlights and important points to touch on the topic. In the meantime, Poppy creates the magical scenario and details as well as the brilliant narrative of the film. Once we have the notes from the sex educator we pass them to the performers, and after they have read it, we all get together to talk about their experiences, see what they would like to perform and what they would like to share. Lastly, we create the script which finally is reviewed by the sex educator to see that everything is on the right path.
Pornceptual: Your tutorial on consent was very enlightening. How one can create a comfortable space to talk about their wishes?
Amber: Communication, setting boundaries and all the parameters of building any kind of relationship can start in any setting which you both find comfortable. So if it is easier for you and a partner to have these discussions in person, then that’s the setting. others may prefer a virtual conversation and so on. I would suggest coming prepared with a small “cheat sheet” of boundaries or points you want to cover. But, as we grow and evolve so will our boundaries and consent, and what’s essential is having continuous conversations about consent and boundaries. To ignore your consent or another’s is never conducive to a healthy sexual environment.
Pornceptual: It can be difficult to bring up these kinds of topics. How do you talk about consent with a one night stand or with someone you aren’t intimate with?
Anarella: First of all, to be able to talk about consent with someone you just met, it is important that you know your own boundaries and needs and that you check what you are expecting from this night. It is good to talk about it, and talk about the last STI check. You should know what risk are you willing to take in terms of barrier protection for oral sex. We understand that for penetration, barriers should be used, but it is always a good point to be reminded of the use of a condom when the time is needed.
When a hook up appears spontaneous after a party, is important to check on yourself and see how intoxicated you are and at the same time, check with your partner/s how intoxicated they are, by asking simple questions like: are you ok? What would you like to do?
If you see that you are not feeling comfortable with what is happening, just slow down, verbalize, ask for a new position or need, drink a glass of water, that will give you time to check on yourself. You are entitled to stop anything any time as needs are fluid.
Better not to be shy in communicating than sorry, let’s get rid of these social standards that have been created for a long time such as “if you started something, you should finish it.” Be true to yourself. Respect yourself and your partners.
Communicating and asking things while having sex can be very hot, as you will be giving your partner what they want.
Pornceptual: Unfortunately, we are still living in a pandemic scenario. Do you have tips on how to create tension and play with social distancing or without physical touch?
Amber: Even pre COVID “sexual tension” took many very different paths, and most recently virtual pathways of pleasure have become more mainstream. My tips would be to explore yourself and not take yourself too seriously, but keep “you” at the centre of it all. Another important aspect is community, to lead yourself to those spaces and places both real or virtual. Just make sure you are going in with your clear boundaries and consent upfront, while still remaining as safe as possible. Ultimately, this is the journey of the individual so I cannot offer too much direct information.
Leave a Reply